1 Behold, I Juan Rebelador, did live in the days of Pancho Villa.
2 And behold, I did enter a bar with my fellow revolutionaries, and being very exhausted after much fighting, I did take a cup of Tequila and did drink it, and verily, the following vision was displayed before me.
3 And behold, I did never drink again.
1 Behold, as I drank from the cup, I looked inside, and mine eyes were opened and I beheld the gold of Europe.
2 And as I beheld, a piece of that gold was spent, and the rest of the gold did rise up in battle against each other.
3 And behold, the battle was very great, and did involve all of Babylon, yea, even unto the land shadowing with wings.
4 And I beheld that when the battle was over, much of the gold was grieved, and did become iron. And behold, they did take it out on the holy covenant.
5 And I beheld that the iron was rusted, and had become red. And behold, arms stood on his part, and they did place the abomination of desolation. And all of Babylon did rise against the iron, and did overcome it.
6 But behold, the battles did continue until two red mushrooms were planted in a pale rice paddy.
7 And I beheld that after this battle, behold, a white eagle did rise up, and also a red bear.
8 And behold all of Babylon did gather together unto the eagle or unto the bear; some on the one hand, and some on the other.
9 And I beheld that the bear was destroyed, and its head and its fingers and its toes were cut off.
10 And I beheld that the eagle did become very rich. And the rice paddy also.
11 And verily, I did believe that I was losing my mind.
1 Behold, I did see the time of the two old witnesses approaching, each witness being one thousand years old.
2 And behold, the next things that I did see did cause me to believe that I verily had gone insane.
3 For behold, I did see white plates. And these plates did come forth and did boil the rice. Behold, they did also roast the eagle. And I beheld that the white plates did rule over Babylon.
4 And after many days, and some more days, and a few more days, behold, the rulers and the soldiers and the artisans did rise up against the plates. And behold they could not beat them, for verily, the plates were white.
5 And I beheld that an artisan did sneeze, and behold, the plates did become sick.
6 And I beheld that when the plates were sick, they were not white, but were black. And behold, the people did defeat them.
1 And I did behold a rock. And I did think to myself, "Finally, something I can understand. For behold, rocks are simple. Perhaps I shall remove it from my cup."
2 But behold, I did forget that I was hallucinating, and the rock could not be removed.
3 And I did behold the rock grow larger and larger. And behold, it was a snowball.
4 And I beheld many other rocks in my cup. And behold, some did increase, some did decrease, and some were made of talcum powder.
5 But behold, while the other rocks were yellow, the first rock had turned gold. And behold, it was a gold nugget in a snowball, and it did roll forth and increase until it did fill all of Babylon.
6 And behold, as the rock did increase, so did Babylon. But behold, the image of Babylon was destroyed, and the rock continued to grow.
7 And I did never look at rocks the same way again.
1 I did behold that all the nations of the earth were gathered together in the land of the holy covenant.
2 And I did behold a great monster ascend out of the abyss.
3 Behold, this monster did have many heads with which it did consume the nations. It did also have many horns. And I did behold that it did wear spectacles, for behold, it was nearsighted.
4 And the monster was red and black and pale and yellow, and behold, it did stir up the hearts of the people to anger one with another.
5 And I beheld a great earthquake, such as had never been seen before, nay, nor never again shall be. And I did behold that in the midst of the earthquake was a garden of mushrooms. And I did behold the monster, that he was the cause of the earthquake.
6 And I did behold a tenth of the people, that they were not destroyed in the earthquake. And they did marvel after the monster, and did worship the images he did set up for them.
7 But behold, the golden snowball did continue to roll forth. And the people did fear the golden snowball, for behold, it was not destroyed, while all the other rocks were ground to dust.
8 And behold, power was not given unto the monster to destroy the snowball.
1 And I did behold the king of all the earth, that he came unto the golden snowball. For behold, he did push the snowball, and did cause it to roll, for the snowball was his.
2 And I did behold that there were gathered unto him 144,000 high priests. And behold, they did have many keys.
3 And I beheld that they did all deliver up their keys unto their father, the Ancient of Days.
4 And behold, the Ancient of Days, even Michael, the seventh angel, the archangel did deliver all the keys unto the king of all the earth.
5 And I did behold that with the keys, he did rule over the earth.
1 I beheld that the king did descend from the clouds of heaven unto the earth.
2 And behold, a sharp two-edged sword did proceed from his mouth. And I beheld that the one side was green, and the other side was red.
3 And behold, with the sword, he did smite the wicked, and the third part of men were destroyed.
4 And I also beheld that the monster did return unto the abyss from whence it had come.\
5 I beheld that the inhabitants of the earth did receive their king.
6 And I also beheld the golden snowball, that it was decked with ornaments like unto a bride. And it did come unto the king and was married to him.
7 And I beheld great prosperity upon the earth for many generations.
1 And I did behold that the monster did return from the abyss. And I did behold that it was given unto the monster to gather together its armies. And I beheld the number of the armies, that they were 666,000.
2 And I did behold the archangel, that it did also gather together its armies. And behold, the number of the armies was 144,000.
3 And I did behold that the armies of the monster did have the appearance of dragons. And the armies of Michael appear like unto lions.
4 And I beheld that the Lions did defeat the Dragons, 40,000 to 3½. And behold, the earth was at rest.
5 And I beheld the earth, that it was changed. I beheld that every valley was raised up and every mountain did flee away.
6 And the earth did take the appearance of crystal. And behold, the king gave unto the lions that they should also be kings, and they did worship the king forever and ever.
7 And behold, the vision did end. And all I did see was a worm in my cup. And I did wonder after the meaning of the vision.
8 And behold, I did break the cup against the wall, and I did not worry about it any more.
9 But I did quit drinking.
10 (And I did wonder if you did catch that "ESP y la Copa" backwards is "apocalypse").
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